28 March 2009

Fail.

Woke up late, ran late, hair and make-up were awesome, still not to work in time to be there for ten-to. Punch in, run up, watch and float, think slow, cover tables, forget people, walk around, try to recover from molassis-ish-ness, no go. People pick, girls make cracks, I forget to laugh, I try to pick up speed, find the flip side, slow day, keep going, root beer slow, dishes pile, tables dirty, round and round. Eat breakfast on break, lose steam, wait for lunch, get bobbi pins, pull hair back, feel lighter, feel better!, get going, energy up, too little too late: half hour left of shift is all.

Sleepy at home.

25 March 2009

Befriend your banker today

So things are drastically looking up. Half of my brooding broodability lately has been due to the inconsiderable, deficient amount of sunlight around here. Half of everyone's brooding has been due to the lack of sunlight, sunshine, rays of anything remotely even resembling spring around here. I mean, even the dog is cranky. The snow is ridiculous. Redamneddiculous. I can't explain it. It's not like anything I've ever seen (other than other snow) in terms of how it comes and goes, melts and freezes, comes and goes, and just freezes up into hell, up into these half-melted ruts of frozen... well... crap. (There, I guess I've explained.) My car might as well be a wooden-wheeled conestoga on its way down the Oregon Trail in the mid-1800's, for all that it matters. The bumping, the jarring, wheels threatening to fall of their axes, the passenger heads bobbing side-to-side in erratic unison as we ford and forge along the untamed wasteland of the wild streets of Small Town, Canada. Here it is, near March's end and there's not been even one glimpse of spring. Not one. (Well maybe a little. What with the sporadic fits of melting and all.)

But there it was today. As bright and as gold as butter itself. Sunshine. And lots of it. Not just a peep through the cloud as though to say like an evil wizard appearing with gold and disappearing a mean "ha-HA" in your face or like an oasis mirage that cruelly expires within proximity, but as in ALL day. Bright, hopeful, uplifting, insightful. Promising. Even if only to be broken later by the return of sunset. That is MY kind of day. I wish spring would !@#$-ing get here already! but hey, I don't make the rules and I'll take what I can get.

Angle #2: My dress came in today. Can you believe it?? It came. My $25-dollar, custom-made, non-wedding wedding gown, probably made at the hands of children, and sent to me from China at a hundred dollars' shipping (no word of a lie) arrived bright and early this morning after I returned from the gym. Barring the possibility that it was really produced by child labor (Oh, God, it plagues my soul without question), it was a pleasant surprise for two reasons. 1) I had almost given up on it, irrefutably convinced that I had been jipped on Ebay. 2) I have a dress! A do-over, make-over, certifiable, undeniable, white wedding dress! In my home. As though I were really getting married! A finely-crafted, quality-made, beautiful, simple gown that I can wear on the day of our tenth anniversary renewal of vows. Of course, this all goes out the window if I find out that the jab a few friends have made at me about my inexpensive find and child labor is more than just a jab and my deeply-rooted concerns become more founded.

Update: I have found nothing to suggest my worry is legitimate.

Angle #3: We had our meeting with our banker this afternoon and found out what our options were to refinance/consolidate our debts. All options were viable possibilities, completely within our range (both in concept and capability), and made for good news all around. She is an awesome person to have on our side. It was meeting her and being able to talk about money last year, learn about it, and not feel like a complete failure that taught me how to deal with money at all. (If you have any questions, just come to me, my little people, for I can tell you what you want to know. I am an expert now.) ((Psh.)) Then you consider last year, where the culmination of all our poor decisions wreaked havoc on our financial state, and figure that we've recovered pretty well because we were able to step up to the plate and start doing all the things we weren't doing before to help ourselves. Our banker really gave us that confidence and clearly did not pass judgment. She just smiled her cute, freckled smile with her bright blue eyes and told us we "did really well." Yay! All of our frustrations in the days of yesteryear have not gone by in vain; and the instruction I give my own girls bangs around in my head, "as long as you learn from your mistakes..."

Befriend your banker today.