Oh-kh-hayy now. Ri-i-ight. AS IF. Seriously? I mean REALLY. Are you fucking kidding me? You've GOT to be kidding. Just plain ridiculous.
It's been over a year. A WHOLE YEAR. No, wait. OVER a year. Well over a year. A year and a half. An entire fucking year and a half. And things were awkward well before we quit dating anyway! You didn't pull your weight before we even split; and at the very least I came to understand that I was a dispensable portion of your life by your lackluster efforts to keep me involved, which really wasn't even the bottom line reason for not dating you any more, but certainly a factor nonetheless. And the drinking. OhmaLOHRD the drinking. I don't have to be in a single other toxic relationship to know that I wasn't even gonna GO there. Ugh.
I mean are you for REAL? Are you really, really fucking for real? Seriously. No. Nuh-uh. Nope. Wasn't it bad enough that you were absolutely obliterated by the sauce just in time to greet people at the door at the top of last year's party? What. The. Fuck. Is wrong with you??? Yeah. Remember that? Do you? Yeah, lemme flip a little reminder at you. I was the girl with the boyfriend you were eyeballing and wavering and slapping through dinner, making everyone feel awkward and cross.
You also swore at the CEO of the company, even though that had nothing to do with me.
And all of that, absolute and pure fucking bullshit as that was, could almost be understood, at least where that shit behavior pertains to you or myself, because it had only been some time since I jumped ship. But this year? Saying stupid fucking bullshit because your insecurities outweigh one iota of good sense? Now? That extreme? Excuse me, Person I Will Never Again Regain Respect For, when the fuck did Soloman die and make you king of anything?
What a stupidass rhetorical question. Of COURSE nobody died and made you king. You're just another jackass with insecurities. A jackass who has ruined the only two company Christmas parties I've been to. A jackass who had to open his big, cha-chee mouth and spit vulgar things out of his mouth because he couldn't even handle being passed in the hallway to the washroom by the "new" (of over a year now) boyfriend.
Whatever, you sad piece of work. I hope you find what you're looking for because I certainly will not go to another staff function for as long as you are employed there. That's why I came back and shoved you at the bar and made you break your glass. Shut your fuckin' mouth!