03 January 2009



Who needs friends whose words undercut, doubt, and criticize? I mean, really. Perhaps the recessive strains of insecurity show in worrying about, even for a second, the status message of a friend whose actions of bumping a player from the table resulted in an angry comment (by me); but if the consequential conversation that followed is any indication of immaturity, then it lay just as much with him as with me.

I guess I just don't understand him. I guess I've just always wanted our friendship to be more of what I thought it was or what I thought I wanted rather than what is and just accepting that. Which is fine. But then, I don't really accept it. Even if I could accept what is incompatible , I don't accept the way all words seem to have any other meaning than the given meaning and how all of our conversations over the years have morphed into other-lateral versions of themselves. Two planes of conversation and meaning. Truly this is not healthy. And for a good man of good character and good value that I know he is, we simply are not communicating at face value any more and I think we chalk it up to the evolution of conversation that has come from snotty dig after snotty dig.

31 December 2008

uh--mm. Happy New Year!

Okay, so it's not quite New Year's here in the central time zone, but by the time I finish this post, it will be.

Happy New Year!! A time for resolution, reflection, hopefully new promise (or at least renewed promise) and a whole new refresh.

Of course, this is only so far as the pop culture has counted it--a new beginning, so-to-speak--because our Julian calendar flips forward one more number and the way in which we count and measure life starts over at 1. We don't have to get too contemplative about history and the debate over having learned from the past or not as humanity has shown its repetitive errors over centuries of sin and abuse, but we also know that there is relief and hope (hope being the essential key word) in flipping the page, recounting at 1, and starting over. Even if it is only by human measure.

I am also a little bit buzzed and if it seems like my little account, my little New Year's eve ramble, is a little windbaggish and over-exherted, well it probably is. I've had about ten glasses of wine and enough nachos to feed a small family in a third world country. I stand by what I've said, though, and tend to find the inhibitions with which I usually approach writing are pleasantly thrown out the window with a little bit of wine (or BEER!)

Happy New Year!