03 January 2009



Who needs friends whose words undercut, doubt, and criticize? I mean, really. Perhaps the recessive strains of insecurity show in worrying about, even for a second, the status message of a friend whose actions of bumping a player from the table resulted in an angry comment (by me); but if the consequential conversation that followed is any indication of immaturity, then it lay just as much with him as with me.

I guess I just don't understand him. I guess I've just always wanted our friendship to be more of what I thought it was or what I thought I wanted rather than what is and just accepting that. Which is fine. But then, I don't really accept it. Even if I could accept what is incompatible , I don't accept the way all words seem to have any other meaning than the given meaning and how all of our conversations over the years have morphed into other-lateral versions of themselves. Two planes of conversation and meaning. Truly this is not healthy. And for a good man of good character and good value that I know he is, we simply are not communicating at face value any more and I think we chalk it up to the evolution of conversation that has come from snotty dig after snotty dig.

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